Thanksgiving SUCKS!! (So does America)

I had to steal the headline from the video.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Big Government owns ACORN

Check out all the posts on the idiots at ACORN being taken down one office at a time by Andrew Breitbart and company. This is beautiful to see stupidity finally rewarded – ACORN document dump

Top 10 ‘Cheney 2012′ Slogans

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10. “Yeah, I’m a compassionate conservative. I let you live, didn’t I?”

9. “The Secret Service’s new job? Protecting other world leaders from me.”

8. “I’ll crush all enemies foreign & domestic. Then I’ll figure out a goal for Week Two.”

7. “I shot a guy in the face and he apologized to me.”

6. “Democrats will need Universal Health Care after I’m through with them.”

5. “Want to see world leaders bowing? Oh, they’ll bow alright.”

4. “Do what I say or I’ll have my daughter kick your a$$.”

3. “On my World Apology Tour, I won’t be the one apologizing.”

2. “I never had a heart attack. I just stopped it a few times to show it who was boss.”

1. “Vote for me. Or not. Like I give a f*!#k what you do.”

via Exurban League

More can be found at IMHO including this gem:

“Vote for me and I’ll consider not strangling this box of puppies.”

This is how they roll on the Dark Side. - click for larger

These are not the congressional voting districts you are looking for….

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Don’t you just feel so good about how well our government is taking care of us?

My HOPE® and CHANGE® levels are going through the roof with each passing day!

Exclusive: Jobs ‘Saved or Created’ in Congressional Districts That Don’t Exist

Here’s a stimulus success story: In Arizona’s 15th congressional district, 30 jobs have been saved or created with just $761,420 in federal stimulus spending. At least that’s what the Web site set up by the Obama administration to track the $787 billion stimulus says.There’s one problem, though: There is no 15th congressional district in Arizona; the state has only eight districts.

And ABC News has found many more entries for projects like this in places that are incorrectly identified…

For example, recovery.gov says $34 million in stimulus money has been spent in Arizona’s 86th congressional district in a project for the Navajo Housing authority, which is actually located in the 1st congressional district.

The reporting problems are not limited to Arizona, ABC News found.

In Oklahoma, recovery.gov lists more than $19 million in spending — and 15 jobs created — in yet more congressional districts that don’t exist.

In Iowa, it shows $10.6 million spent and 39 jobs created — in nonexistent districts.

In Connecticut’s 42nd district (which also does not exist), the Web site claims 25 jobs created with zero stimulus dollars.

The list of spending and job creation in fictional congressional districts extends to U.S. territories as well.

$68.3 million spent and 72.2 million spent in the 1st congressional district of the U.S. Virgin Islands.

$8.4 million spent and 40.3 jobs created in the 99th congressional district of the U.S. Virgin Islands.

$1.5 million spent and .3 jobs created in the 69th district and $35 million for 142 jobs in the 99th district of the Northern Mariana Islands.

$47.7 million spent and 291 jobs created in Puerto Rico’s 99th congressional district.

Stimulus Fund Mystery
Interesting facts and figures, but none of these districts exist.

The recovery.gov Web site was established as part of the stimulus bill “to foster greater accountability and transparency” in the use of the money spent through the stimulus program. The site is a well-funded enterprise; the General Services Administration updated it earlier this year with an $18 million grant.

Sometimes It Feels Like Obama Governs a Whole Different Country

Suddenly, Obama’s claim to have visited 57 states…

… makes a bit more sense:

In fact, Recovery.gov lists hundreds of millions spent and hundreds of jobs created in Congressional districts that don’t exist.

In Oklahoma, for example, the site lists more than $19 million in spending — and 15 jobs created — on Congressional districts that don’t exist. In Iowa, it shows $10.6 million spent – and 39 jobs created — in non-existent districts.

In Connecticut’s 42nd District (which also does not exist), the website claims 25 jobs created with zero stimulus dollars.

We should have caught on quicker when we saw listings for jobs created in Bloom County, Gotham City, San Andreas, Sunnydale, and Sodor.

UPDATE: A reader reports, “I have heard the congressmen representing Lake Woebegone, MN and Margaritaville, FL are livid those communities did not get their fair share of stimulus funding.”

Quote of the Day: They get HBO in the White House?

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…and they have time to watch it?!?!

Via Gateway Pundit: Obama Not Watching the Results Tonight …Update: Watched HBO Special About Himself Instead

Hours after urging reporters not to draw sweeping conclusions from Tuesday’s gubernatorial elections in New Jersey and Virginia, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs told POLITICO President Barack Obama wasn’t even keeping an eye on the results.

“He’s not watching returns,” Gibbs said..

UPDATE: Barack Obama watched an HBO special about himself instead.
What a shock.

I feel so much better about the direction this nation is headed.

ROFLMAO story of the day

Muslims Threaten Breslin Owner After He Laughs Off Bar Demand

Earlier this month the mosque’s leaders called a meeting with Friedman at The Ace Hotel, where The Breslin is located, and asked, “Can you move the bar?” Friedman’s response makes us want to hurry over to The Breslin right now for a dram of Laphroaig to show our support (and drown out the voices):

I laughed. And the guy said, “Oh, you think that’s funny?” And I said, “Yeah, that is funny, that is really funny, because we’re not going to move the bar just because you discovered we’re serving booze.” Can you name one restaurant in New York that doesn’t serve booze? I said, “This is the United States of America and we’ll do whatever the f*ck we want.” He said the mosque had suggested it couldn’t control the behavior of “a few bad eggs”; i.e., we could get a brick through our window.

…A volunteer at the mosque says city law forbids serving liquor within 200 feet of a place of worship and that “not more than 200 feet is between the mosque and the bar.”

But Ace Hotel developer Andrew Zobler tells The Observer, “The law is clear that in order for that to apply it has to be an exclusively dedicated house of worship, and at their space they have both residences and a restaurant, so basically, because of those uses the law allowed there to be a bar within 200 feet. Everyone was aware of that when the liquor license was granted.” And Friedman adds, “They can threaten, but they can’t really stop us.” Yeah, heh, what are these devout, pissed-off Muslims gonna do?

Via The Jawa Report

They want to run your health care too….

via Report: Cash for Clunkers was a lemon:

American taxpayers paid a lot of cash for those clunkers: $24,000 for each new car sold, according to a study released Wednesday.

That’s a lot of money, especially when the so-called “cash for clunker” stimulus program offered only a maximum $4,500 in cash for each person who traded in an old gas-guzzler and bought a new car.

The government could have done almost as well by just giving away cars for free, instead of creating an elaborate incentive program…

F’ing pinheads….

Hi, we're all giant lying douchebags.

ROFLMAO moment of the Day

Rosie O’Donnell Thinks She and Angelina Jolie Almost Happened

How does one choose between Brad Pitt and Rosie O’Donnell?

We’re not sure we know (or want to know), but at some point Angelina Jolie was faced with that conflict. At least, according to Rosie.

The talk-show icon blabbed to Howard Stern on Sirius XM radio about a time before she was married to Kelli Carpenter and Angelina had tied the knot with Billy Bob Thornton. A romance, she claimed, was a-bloomin’.

“She gave me her phone number,” Rosie said. “We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through.”

Fear got the best of Rosie and she wasn’t able to seal the deal.

“I was a little afraid of her,” she said. “She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.”

Rosie with ANY human makes me want to…

H/T Jawa Report

Cry baby Dems and Healthcare…

Via Gateway Pundit:

Awesome.

CNN anchors not so bright

CNN should consider banning anchors from “Celebrity Jeopardy” after Wolf Blitzer and Soledad O’Brien lose.

They claim they are not trivia experts and the buzzer is “complicated”. And, there is no teleprompter for these microcephalics – so go figure they’re in last place and a laughing stock.

 

Olbermann Ad creates hysterics

via Breitbart.tv » Olbermann ‘Ad’ Touts MSNBC Supremacy.

53 confront Team Obama about unqualified freak of a safe school czar

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Fifty-three House Republicans have written President Barack Obama asking him to remove “safe schools czar” Kevin Jennings from that position.

The lawmakers accused Jennings of “pushing a pro-homosexual agenda” and said that Jennings’s past writings exhibit a record that makes him unfit for the position.

“We respectfully request that you remove Kevin Jennings, the Assistant Deputy Secretary for the Office of Safe and Drug Free Schools, from your Administration,” the Republicans wrote. “It is clear that Mr. Jennings lacks the appropriate qualifications and ethical standards to serve in this capacity.”

via The Hill’s Blog Briefing Room

Then the microcephalics at Media Matters take on Zomblog, hilarity and complete devastation ensues.

Thin-skinned Team Obama

Crybabies is my vote:

Is Gibbs accusing all of the media of being enemies of the Obama White House, or is it just confirmation of what Chris Wallace said last month — that this administration is the biggest bunch of crybabies ever?

via Hot Air

No illusions here…

LONDON (MarketWatch) — In a decision as shocking as Friday’s surprise peace prize win, President Obama failed to win the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences Monday.While few observers think Obama has done anything for world peace in the nearly nine months he’s been in office, the same clearly can’t be said for economics.

The president has worked tirelessly since even before his inauguration to wrest control of the U.S. economy from failed free markets, and the evil CEOs who profit from them, and to turn it over to wise, fair and benevolent bureaucrats.

From his $787 billion stimulus package, to the cap-and-trade bill, to the seizures of General Motors and Chrysler, to the undead health-care “reform” act, Obama has dominated the U.S., and therefore the global, economy as few figures have in recent years.

Yet the Nobel panel chose instead to award the prize to two obscure academics — Elinor Ostrom and Oliver Williamson — one noted for her work on managing collective resources, and the other for his work on transaction costs. See full story on the Nobel winners.

Other surprise losers include celebrity noneconomist and filmmaker Michael Moore; U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner; and Larry Summers, head of the U.S. national economic council.

It is unclear whether the president will now refuse his peace prize in protest against the obvious slight to his real achievements this year.

via Obama fails to win Nobel prize in economics – MarketWatch

A million seconds is 12 days. A billion seconds is 31 years. A trillion seconds is 31,688 years.

‘Bout damn time Playboy

Marge Simpson Playboy Cover: Cool or Creepy?

Updated: What’s next for Obama? Truck of the Year?

UPDATE: Reason TV gets into the act

This is just getting started I can see: Help Obama win the Heisman Trophy!

The Masters? Why not?

Next up comes an Oscar, Emmy, Pulitzer, Cy Young, Wimbledon, Lombardi, and Motor Trend’s Truck of the Year!

“Is Barack Obama Jesus Christ?”

Spot the Idiots: Dean Gardener and Jason Fender

I’m sorry but this is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time!

Thugs attack two men in dresses… who turn out to be cage fighters

Two thugs who attacked what they thought were a pair of transvestites picked on the wrong men – when their intended victims turned out to be cage fighters on a night out in fancy dress.

Dean Gardener, 19, and Jason Fender, 22, singled out the two men walking along a street in wigs, short skirts and high heels.

Bare-chested Gardener was caught on CCTV confronting one of the men in a pink wig, black skirt and boob tube – then seen swinging a punch, a court heard.

But the other cage fighter, wearing a sparkling black dress and matching long wig, sprang to his friend’s help, delivering two lightning-quick punches to the two stunned yobs.

The cage fighters were then seen teetering away in their high heels, stopping only to pick up a clutch bag they dropped during the melee.

Gardener and Fender were left dazed and seen staggering to their feet after their failed attack.

The hilarity begins about 1:10. ROFLMAO.

Picture perfect for our President

Via The Corner:

This, Apparently, Is Not a Joke [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Barack Obama has this hanging in the White House:

It proves a gift to Nick Schulz.

Fitting, just ask the guys in Afghanistan.

Video: The Ego Has (Crash) Landed

This is funny and so on point.

Don’t forget 0+0+0 will always equal zero.

Pelosi and Reid are failures

Approval of U.S. Congress Falls to 21%, Driven by Democrats

Congressional job approval reached its all-time high of 84% in October 2001, weeks after that year’s Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, and at a time when presidential job approval also shot to all-time highs. Approval of Congress slowly declined from that point through the summer of 2008, reaching the all-time low of 14% in July of that year, as gas prices soared to record highs.

The current drop in overall job approval to 21% particularly reflects a substantial drop in approval among Democrats, whose 36% rating this month is 18 points lower than last month’s 54%, and the lowest since January of this year.

Republicans’ already-low ratings of Congress have dropped marginally, to 9% from 13% last month. There is a similar pattern among independents, whose approval of Congress, now at 16%, is down from 23% last month…

Congress remains the lowest rated of the three branches of government.

Hi, we're all giant lying douchebags.

Roman Polanski on ‘To Catch A Predator’

I hope Polanski gets a taste of his own medicine on his first night in an American prison courtesy of his 300-pound cell mate – without the alcohol and drugs.

Bread and Circus

White House’s botched ‘op’

WASHINGTON — President Obama yesterday rolled out the red carpet — and handed out doctors’ white coats as well, just so nobody missed his hard-sell health-care message.

In a heavy-handed attempt at reviving support for health-care reform, the White House orchestrated a massive photo op to buttress its claim that front-line physicians support Obama.

A sea of 150 white-coated doctors, all enthusiastically supportive of the president and representing all 50 states, looked as if they were at a costume party as they posed in the Rose Garden before hearing Obama’s pitch for the Democratic overhaul bills moving through Congress.

The physicians, all invited guests, were told to bring their white lab coats to make sure that TV cameras captured the image.

But some docs apparently forgot, failing to meet the White House dress code by showing up in business suits or dresses.

So the White House rustled up white coats for them and handed them to the suited physicians who had taken seats in the sun-splashed lawn area.

Time for Letterman to go away

Found this awesomeness over at Hot Air where they quote an AP columnist:

Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards and Larry Craig came in for their share of abuse, as did the governor of South Carolina. “Gov. Mark Sanford didn’t really enjoy this year’s Fourth of July. He left his favorite firecracker in Argentina,” Letterman wisecracked…

Not that Letterman falls into quite the same category of unfaithful officials who hypocritically spouted family values. After all, comedy — not moral guidance — is Letterman’s aim. And he is not facing re-election, though he did briefly fret on the air about keeping his job.

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, who had a run-in with Letterman over jokes made at the expense of her teenage daughter, declined through a spokeswoman to comment on his admissions. But visitors to Palin’s Facebook page did not hold back.

One Palin supporter who posted under the name Linda Aragona wrote: “Amen! God said you will reap what you sow. Letterman tried to destroy Sarah personally and professionally. Looks like that wagging finger was turned right back on him. Who’s laughing now Dave?!!!”

Just to pile on a little because the levels of hypocrisy and karmic justice are too good to pass. He is a worse human being than anyone he made fun of for their moral failures. I felt this way and stopped watching when he found out he was to be a father and still didn’t marry his girlfriend.

Maybe he should just go away and take what dignity he has left with him. Either that or have Roman Polainsky come on along with all the Hollywood luminaries petitioning to have the child rapist treated with deference to his “artistic brilliance” to make him look a little better…

Until that happens, let’s play “Spot the Creep”

Wait, sorry. That last question was a bit tough.

How about we call it, “Spot the Creepy, Hypocritical, Unfaithful, Pathetic, Angry, Womanizing, Elitist Bully”, and simplify the choices?

There, much easier… one clearly meets all the criteria.